<h1 style="text-align: center;">Dear Future Girlfriend, RE: Facebook Profile Pictures</h1>
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<p>Since I’m not in a relationship, there are things I want to write about but often can’t because, well, I’m not actually going through them. Anyone who’s followed this blog knows I place a premium on writing about things I’m either going through or have gone through.</p>
<p>But there are some things I want to write about even if I’m not going through them right at this moment. They’re certain issues or points of conversation I’m sure I will have with <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Portugal-dating-service.html?gender=female&page=5">my girlfriend of the future</a>. I don’t know what she looks like (well, maybe I do). I have no idea what she will bring to the table, and I definitely can’t predict the contentious points of our relationship. But I know at some point I will be in a relationship and at some point, certain things will come up.</p>
<p>What I want to start doing is getting in front of these issues now, before she even comes into my life. We can certainly talk about them at some point, but I do believe these letters I write to her will be a good starting point for the conversation. As <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2024/12/11/how-to-build-a-lasting-relationship-beyond-ideal-proposals/">this Loveawake article on building lasting relationships</a> suggests, honest communication is the best foundation for any future connection.</p>
<p>So future girlfriend who I don’t know yet, I’m going to need you to read these letters carefully. They’re not all the answers to the test, but they’re definitely a helpful study guide.</p>
<h2>When Facebook Becomes the Third Wheel</h2>
<p><a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Italy-dating-service.html?gender=female">I once dated a girl</a> who was seemingly perfect in every way. This was long before you came into my life. She was a bit of a nag, and kind of seemed like she was in a rush to get into a relationship, especially on Facebook, but outside of those two particular issues, she was awesome; a real gem.</p>
<p>But one day she crossed the line. She decided it would be cool to just post a picture the two of us took on her Facebook profile. And get this — she posted it as her profile picture! When I told her to take it down, she objected. I said she had to take it down, she had no choice. When she asked why, I said because I was through dating her and therefore the picture of us together was nothing more than a lie.</p>
<p>Yeah, I know, I used to be messed up back then.</p>
<p>Anyway, here was my issue with her posting up a picture of us on Facebook as her profile pic: she was showing off. She had a lot of friends, and I knew her profile picture was a carefully maintained vanity project. Shoot, I know mine is — and I refuse to let myself be used to show off the fact that someone is in a relationship. If it sounds unreasonable, trust me it isn’t, because if anyone knows the art of Facebook profile curating, it’s me. It’s a theme echoed in <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2025/06/03/how-to-know-youre-ready-for-the-next-step-in-your-relationship/">Loveawake’s discussion on knowing when you’re ready for the next step</a>, which talks about perception versus reality in relationships.</p>
<p>A couple of years before that girl, I was guilty of the same thing. There was the vacation I went on with an ex-girlfriend. We went to Cancun, stayed in plush accommodations, the whole nine yards. We took a ton of pictures — on the beach, by the pool, eating breakfast — and of course I wanted to show them off. Then there was another girlfriend later on, and for years I kept pictures of us up even after we broke up.</p>
<h2>Why I’d Rather Keep Us Private</h2>
<p>But today, all those pictures are gone. When I think back to my motive for posting them, I realize all I really wanted to do was show off the women I was dating. They were the equivalent of a rapper’s platinum chain, and I was the rapper, holding them up for the world to see. Posting those pictures was my way of saying, “Look what I got, suckers!”</p>
<p>Now I’m with you, and trust me when I say, you’re <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Mexico-dating-service.html?gender=female">the prettiest woman I’ve ever dated</a>. I would love to show you off, but can we just settle on posting our relationship status instead of putting all these pictures of us posing for the cameras? It’s not about hiding anything — it’s about meaning. Like <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/11/25/keep-your-life-separate-from-your-relationship/">Loveawake’s advice on keeping your life separate from your relationship</a> points out, privacy isn’t secrecy — it’s maturity.</p>
<p>Candids are cool. We can let other people take pictures of us dancing, laughing, hugging, maybe even kissing, but none of this business where we ask someone to take a photo of us with a scenic background just to upload it. Let’s frame them for our desks, use them as wallpapers, or keep them on our phones — not for an audience of strangers online.</p>
<p>Like I said, I’m not trying to hide what we have; I just want what we have to be ours. When we get married, I’ll post the wedding pictures with pride. But until then, let’s keep our story off everyone else’s timeline — where it belongs.</p>
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